fuck you, and fuck you too.

i am tired of people taking advantage of me and then somehow making me into the bad guy. take a second to pull your head out of your ass and look around: the world is bigger than your petty little problems and no one gives a fuck. shit like this makes me reconsider being nice to people. i have not wronged you in any way, besides calling you out for your fucking bullshit and if that is a reason to attack me then, whatever. grow the fuck up. i don’t need drama in my life, so it is okay if “i will never see you again.”

r: your issues are first world problems. boo fucking hoo, you were born into a circumstance that befalls thousands of people and guess what? they overcame it. stop being an ass, take care of your responsibilities, and stop whining. stop turning every little thing into something so dire, and stop making everything about you. THE WORLD IS BIGGER THAN YOU. GET OVER IT. i hope you and your miserable exgf have a great miserable life together since all you both seem to do all the time is whine, whine, and whine. weeehhhhh.

m:  no, i do not always ignore you. i am ignoring you right now because hey, you have a girlfriend so maybe you should stop trying to fuck me, asshole. stop guilt tripping me, you fucking dick. i don’t want to aid you in your infidelity. besides, i have someone i care about.

people at work: calm the fuck down, there is too much drama and i am tired.

It’s almost 5am and he’s sleeping. I just woke up from a nap, with my head resting on his lap.

It never occurred to you that one day I’ll forget about you, did it? Somehow, throughout all this time, the back of my mind entertained the thought that eventually you’ll realise how good we were together. Who knew that by the time you finally came to your senses, I was far gone.

I don’t know why I ever let you hurt me. I am glad you put me through hell—once I reached rock bottom, there was nothing to do but climb back up.

I can almost see daylight and it is beautiful.

I am like wolverine, lol.

I am starting to understand you, I think.

I have this clusterfuck of feelings and irrationality inside me, and when I read your words I think that maybe you have it too. We are from two different worlds, but one thing is the same: no matter how we got there, no matter how it happened, and no matter for what reasons—we are both troubled.

The truth is, I learned how to be in love to the point where the very core of my being aches. This disease that only that person can cure…it won’t go away and knowing that he’ll eventually leave me is nothing but torture. I pretend that I’m okay with that but no, I’m not. He thinks I want too much, I need too much, I’m too selfish, that I’m fucking everything up because I won’t accept that we can only be just friends.

I wonder sometimes, how this one person can fuck me up so badly. I was supposed to be strong.

Yesterday I tried to sever the string that tied us together. Maybe he’s beyond pissed and will be gone for good now. Perhaps that is better than me hanging on to a hope that will one day shatter. I am numb, nothing matters, and I think that if I just ignore it all, everything will be okay. I don’t want to pay this game of hot and cold anymore.

Sometimes, I really think that there is no other choice but to be alone. If I cannot get what I want, I don’t want any substitutes. No one else will be the same.

I trekked miles through wind and rain just to see you.

And for some reason, when I left you I still felt empty.

You lead me on a string, tighten me up and unravel me.

I cannot sleep well next to you. Is it because of the uncertainty—of the unspoken words?

I just want to feel safe, that’s all.